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Sunday, May 08, 2005

I'm back... Are you still there?

First off, did you know that if you hit enter after typing the title you will post? This was news to me. I obviously meant to tab, why can't this computer read my mind?

Anyway, I am feeling much closer to human and thought I would write. Thank you to those who sent well wishes. Jill, I am so missing you at Sit & Knit. Feeling down right lonely to be honest. I'm glad you are doing well though! I will email... I am getting so overwhelmed, please don't take it personally.

Today I ran across a post while reading my bloglines that really got me thinking. It seems that Lynn from Bacon, Cheese and Oatcakes is calling it quits. I don't recall seeing a lot of posts from her but I clicked on it and read the whole story.

I was surprised to find that she too has a son with Asperger's Syndrome. I haven't went through and read her entire story but her last post has stayed with me all day. It seems that she has lost her desire to blog. This I understand. It takes time and work to build a blog. Sometimes it's just too much.

She raised the issue on anonymity. It appears that her blog has received some attention and is being read by large numbers. The double edged sword being some of those people are not reading it for pure reasons. I struggle with self censorship all the time. I don't want to offend people that I know and I don't even want to offend complete strangers. So some subjects go untouched.

Some days you just need to rant about someone but you never know who's reading what you are writing. I could just not care but that doesn't seem like the Christian thing to do. Of course as a Christian should I be ranting or even having these feelings in the first place? The answer? No... I shouldn't rant about others, I should be understanding and even pray for my enemies. The feelings are natural but how we deal with them is the key.

It's funny how everything is coming into focus as I write this out. In some ways blogging can be like a prayer. You are able to slow down and hear that little voice in your head and then you know, you know the answers.

Some might say that writing about Christianity is offensive. To some I suppose it is. Up until late winter of 2004 I might have agreed. Today I feel that it's a such a part of who I am that I can't not write about it. My faith has changed my life and given me hope like I have never had before. I'm not going to force people to listen to my story but I will quietly share it with all who listen.

I've never been one for small talk and I never back down from a debate. If you know me personally then you know that I have strong opinions about everything and sometimes struggle with when it's appropriate to share them. Of course these days I pray for guidance as opposed to simply saying whatever comes to mind.

I guess what I am trying to say is, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be true to who I am through my blogging and sooner or later I will offend. Not because I wish to offend anyone but to write without offence is to not write at all.

7 Comments:

At Sunday, May 08, 2005 1:50:00 PM, Blogger Moze said...

Post about your religion. Things from teh heart, even though controversial to some, make the best reading.

 
At Monday, May 09, 2005 2:57:00 AM, Blogger Allena said...

hey i wish my computer would read my mind too! LOL

i think the key to ranting...is well you should have one person whom you can let go with a trusted person who will guide you back to the word. also (i'm talking from experience) you need to be able to say sorry when you do rant... KWIM? you're not wrong for wanting to go off. after all you are human and being a christian doesn't change that it just means you're forgiven! but it is your blog so you can do what ever it is you want with it! and i totally understand what you're saying not wanting to offend anyone, but like i said it is your blog so if they are offended they shouldn't read...i hope that i made sense.
have a great day!

 
At Monday, May 09, 2005 9:05:00 AM, Blogger jodi said...

Absolutely you should say what you feel, but then proofread and edit if you think it might hurt someone (that's what I do). And there is a difference between writing about your faith and bible-thumping; there's nothing wrong with writing about your faith (but there's also a difference between not-Christian and anti-Christian, and writing about your faith isn't going to drive all us non-Christians away). I have written some things critical of the pope that may offend some, but won't take it down, because I strongly believe in the things I wrote. I turned away from Christianity as a child because even then I could see that they were telling me to adhere to something that they themselves were not adhering to (ie in the little non-denominational protestant church where I took Sunday school, some of the people were racist, and at age 8 I knew full well that this didn't follow the teachings of Christ). But those feelings certainly don't stop me from reading your blog just because you are Christian; that's the love your neighbour part.

 
At Monday, May 09, 2005 10:46:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another non-Christian here:

It's your blog, they're your thoughts... you have the absolute right to speak your mind. Write about your faith if it's important to you. Those who are offended can go elsewhere.


Kathryn

 
At Monday, May 09, 2005 9:36:00 PM, Blogger Orris said...

Keep blogging. You have something to say, and if it frustrates people or angers them then perhaps you are offering them an opportunity to examine their own ideas.

As for ranting not being Christian, didn't Christ himself throw a big fit in the middle of the money-lenders? I'm not Christian, but I seem to recall the religion focusing on how you choose to handle negative emotions, not on ridding yourself of them entirely.

Besides, if blogging is like prayer, surely you _pray_ about your weaknesses? Let the readers who support you be the good angels and the ones who knock at you be the nastier guy on the other shoulder.

 
At Thursday, May 12, 2005 4:27:00 PM, Blogger Valerie said...

Regarding ranting and Christianity. I am also a Christian....certainly not a perfect one, but a work in progress. But when it comes to ranting, I can't help but think of what James writes about controlling the tongue. Surely he would say the same thing about keyboards? Once you say something out loud, you can never take it back. But once you have written it in cyberspace it goes on and on and on, popping up in the most unexpected searches (thank you very much, Google).

There's a former elementary-school teacher in our Bible study group. She gave us this example that she had seen used with children who had gotten into 'name calling'. The children were given a tube of toothpaste and were instructed to squeeze it all out on the table top. Of course it was fun to get away with squeezing out all that toothpaste at one time. Then the teacher said, "Okay, now put all that toothpaste back in the tube." Of course the children were aghast. The teacher then explained that it's the same with your words. When your words hurt someone it's just like toothpaste out of the tube. You can apologize and feel really horrible, but the damage has been done.

As Christians we can rejoice in being forgiven. But we must never forget that sin has consequences. Also, once we publicly profess ourselves as Christians...everything we say and do will be evaluated in that light, by Christians and enemies of Christ alike. That's one of the reasons I don't talk about being Christian on my blog. Instead, I try to model what I "should" be presenting to the world, then if asked, I can share. I feel it's important to remember that as a Christian, your life may be the only Bible that some people will "read". Just my thoughts...FWIW.

 
At Monday, May 16, 2005 9:10:00 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Hi there! I enjoy reading your blog. You put a lot of thought into your posts and I enjoy reading them. I don't know what to say. I hate to think that we should censor our blogs. If things really our private to us though it would be best to mark that post private not public. I guess that we wouldn't post our diaries in the newspaper. If that even makes sense. don't know. I do enjoy your blog though. Keep tellin it like it is.

 

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