Guilt

Okay, it's been an hour or so since I ranted on Nextel and though I am still not happy with the situation I do have a different perspective. I believe that this whole phone thing is only the tip on an iceburg that has been building for quite some time.

Obviously money is an issue, but it's only money, right? It really isn't that important in the long run. I mean, you can't take it with you. My DH and I have come up with a few ways to make some cash through our clutter and we'll see where that leads us. I know that my mom and dad would help us if it got that bad. After the boys go back to school I can work at least a couple days a week and I will be teaching more sock classes this fall. I'm just going to turn this one over to God and do what is in my power to do.

The thing that is weighing heaviest on my heart & mind is my Grandma. She will be 75 on the 19th of this month and she is not in very good health. It's hard for me to even think about her not being here. She has been a good friend to me for years now. I rarely go more than a week without calling her and I can talk to her about anything. My Aunt just told my Mom that it would be a good idea for her to come as soon as she could, as things are deteriorating quickly. It's hard for me to even write about this. My DH probably thinks I've lost it, then again he's used to me crying for no apparent reason. My Grandma is the reason that I am as creative as I am. She and my Aunt Polly were always crafting something whenever we would visit them in Arkansas. Some of my best memories of my time with her include learning something new. Just recently I started crocheting again because it made me feel closer to my Grandma, after all, she was the one who taught me way too many years ago.

The other thing that has helped me to put things back into perspective? Well, I read this article on the net tonight and it touched me deeply. I often think about all of the families that have lost someone to this "war" and my heart breaks. I won't go into my own views but I will say that any loss of life is a tragedy. It's hard to complain about my cell phone bill when there are men and women dying in the name of "democracy."