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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Tuesday August 16, 2005 4:45AM

That's the exact time my Grandma Bernice Mitts passed away.

I'm still in shock, working through denial and anger simultaneously. I'm alone, I sent my DH to work. We are so desperate for money that I didn't dare ask him to stay with me. He'll get 2 days of paid funeral time and he's going to ask for two days of vacation but I don't know if he'll get it. I'd like so much for him to be with me when I go to Arkansas but I don't even know if that's possible. I'm not even sure I should be alone right now.

I have a million thoughts swirling around in my head and a pain in my chest that takes my breath away. It's more of an emptiness really, you might even call it a hole. Perhaps it's the piece of my heart that my grandma took with her to heaven. My life will not be the same without her in it.

Thank you to everyone that shared this experience with me. Being able to "talk" to you has helped me more than you'll ever know.

11 Comments:

At Tuesday, August 16, 2005 8:31:00 AM, Anonymous Lisa said...

Oh Erica, I am so sorry about your grandma. You have my deepest and most heartfelt sympathy. I will be praying for you. I hope all your travel arrangements work out. Here is a verse for you: II Cor 12:9 - My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Take care! Let God be your comfort and may his peace wash over you like a soft and gentle rain.

 
At Tuesday, August 16, 2005 11:19:00 AM, Blogger Christine said...

Erica,
I am so sorry for your loss, My Grandma died on this day 17 years ago...and I cannot even explain the feelings I still feel. I wish for you peace in knowing that my grandma probably met her in heaven.

 
At Tuesday, August 16, 2005 1:06:00 PM, Blogger Tracy said...

So sorry Erica, thinking of you, take care.

 
At Tuesday, August 16, 2005 3:30:00 PM, Blogger Sedie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Erica. I wish you peace and comfort in this time.

 
At Tuesday, August 16, 2005 10:31:00 PM, Blogger Katherine said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. God bless.

 
At Wednesday, August 17, 2005 3:07:00 AM, Blogger CynCyn said...

i wish there was some magical words I could say that would take the pain away, but I know there's nothing that could be said right now. I'm hope your memories of your time with her will help you through this horrible time.

 
At Wednesday, August 17, 2005 11:56:00 AM, Anonymous Jill said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Sounds like she was a wonderful lady.

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

Take care.

 
At Wednesday, August 17, 2005 7:59:00 PM, Anonymous whgamble said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 
At Wednesday, August 17, 2005 9:16:00 PM, Blogger Diana said...

I am truly sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I hope the memories of your grandmother will bring you comfort and peace. Take care and have a safe trip.

 
At Friday, August 19, 2005 2:34:00 AM, Anonymous Laura said...

I'm so sorry erica. Your grandmother is in wonderful hands now. She's in my prayers.

I felt the same way when my grandmother passed away 9 years ago. I still cry if I think of her. Since she passed I pray to her when I really need help. I always feel like a weight has been lifted when I wake up the next day. She's my angel in heaven.

Hang-in there okay? Your grandmother is forever a little angel on your shoulder. Now you have someone you love watching over you.

Thinking of you...

 
At Friday, August 26, 2005 10:36:00 PM, Blogger Bea said...

So sorry for your tremendous loss! But, we do have our ETERNAL HOPE ... you will see her again! It's not easier here - but, it is good to look to that day when you will be reunited.

Much love in His Name!

 

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